Who we are
What personal data we collect and why we collect it
When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
I reserve the right to retain and make fun of any comments submitted to this site.
If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website.
To avoid these issues, I plan not to permit users of the site to upload anything in the first place. If you want to upload pictures of your dog taking a dump or something, go somewhere else. We don’t need you or your ilk around here.
NO CORRESPONDENCE IS PRIVATE! Consider anything submitted via a contact form to be possible fodder for mockery and derision.
If you leave a comment on our site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year.
If you visit our login page, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.
When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select “Remember Me”, your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.
If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.
Embedded content from other websites
Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.
Who we share your data with
No one. We share your data with no one. Unless of course you try doing something stupid or illegal on the site … in which case I’ll share it with friends and family to laugh at your complete and utter idiocy (in the case of your demonstrated stupidity) or the appropriate authorities if you try doing something illegal.
If you request a password reset, your IP address will be included in the reset email.
How long we retain your data
If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue. It’s also because I’m too lazy to be bothered with cleaning up this sort of crap.
For users that register on our website (if any – actually, please don’t try registering. It only creates more work for me and engenders an even deeper antipathy towards you on my part. Thank you.), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.
What rights you have over your data
If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.
But listen. Don’t be an ass – I don’t have time to track down your personal data on your whim. If this is an issue, just read the damn blog and don’t leave comments. Really. No one cares what you think, and if you’re the kind of idiot who wants to go around asking for exported personal data files, you should just go elsewhere seeking bad advice and stop annoying people like me who have serious work to do.
Where we send your data
Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service.
Your contact information
Eventually, I’ll put up a contact form. You can contact me through that. Don’t hold your breath.
How we protect your data
I don’t protect your data. So, if you leave ANY data you deem sensitive on this site, be it your email address, phone number, mother’s maiden name, etc., it is just as if you left that data in an envelope with a pretty red ribbon around it on some Russian mob guy’s front door step.
Yes. It’s that bad. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
What data breach procedures we have in place
None. I’m just one guy for Pete’s sake!
What third parties we receive data from
What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data
Do you really think I have time for this sort of thing? Sheesh!
Industry regulatory disclosure requirements
Please don’t sue me.